My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
