sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
