I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
