you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
