You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
