This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
