I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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