She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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