Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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