"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We had sex on a dog bed..
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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