I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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