I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
