normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
