if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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