I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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