I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
