WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
