I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
