Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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