please come you make the beer taste better
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
