I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dicks are not precious.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
