I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
