Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
