We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
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