it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
