he thought i was a dude.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Randomize
