I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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