Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
