I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
