On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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