Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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