Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
