Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
