Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
