a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
