just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
