i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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