At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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