somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
