Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Life is so much better after having sex.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
