Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
