I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
bring money and cleavage
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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