my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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