This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
