Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
