I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
