I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
