there were more penises there than on chat roulette
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
