I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
