But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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