he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
