were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
