I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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