Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
